• We would need an extra midwife.
• I would need another set of everything I had just finished buying.
• We would need way more diapers.
• I had been super sick & super tired for a reason.
• I was super large, super soon for a reason.
• My spidey senses were spot on.
• Our whole lives would never be the same.
• And that we only had 20ish weeks to get prepared for this.

This time last year we learned we were expecting not one but two very unexpected, very amazing, babies. Two. Not one. Two.

We were in a state of total shock and awe. We were scared and excited. And scared.

I remember thinking it would be old news by now. I remember thinking we would outgrow the shock and that all this would surely become “old hat”. Well… I was wrong!

My life is still evolving from that day. I’m still reeling that my body carried two babies AT ONCE for a total of 39 weeks. I’m still reeling that I had them naturally. I’m still reeling that they made it here, all in their own one piece. I’m still reeling that they are my children.

The shock is still alive and well even a year later. I still look over at them, all 4 arms, all four legs, 2 very separate little human beings, in the light of all their differences and think to myself, “OH MY GOD, THERE’S TWO OF THEM!”

They make my life full. Full of work. Full of laundry. Full of foods and poops. Full of laughter. Full of playing. So, so so SO full of love.

Even with all the hard times, I take a step back and all of a sudden all those hard times seem so minuscule in comparison to how much joy these two girls bring to my life. It always seems unfair to have this much awesomeness in my life. The whole wide world should be able to have this.

I’m still in shock. I’m still in awe. And it’s still a pretty incredible feeling. Being a mom to twins.

Also: It’s my husband’s birthday. Happy Birthday Baby!!!

It seems the whole world is buzzing about the recent cover of Time and the subject of attachment parenting and extended breastfeeding. The two aren’t always related but it seems like a lot of folks have mashed them together. My twitter stream is full of people with opinions.

People are upset that the cover was done in poor taste. A lot of people of all walks seem to agree on that much.

People are upset over the question “Are You Mommy Enough”. Some people are upset that dads and other caregivers of the attachment parenting style aren’t covered.

Some people are mad because it’s a “skinny white girl” on the cover.

A lot of pro-attachment parenting people are upset because they feel it is done in an act of instigating something called “mommy wars”….

Pick a reason, people are pissed. “You crunchy moms are angry, ragey people.”

To be honest, I didn’t even know what a “mommy war” was until I saw it splayed out all over my twitter stream.

I see the news and I know all too well the evils that exist in our world. There are far worse moms out there doing far more awful things to their children. Sick, sad, horrible women. If you ask me, those are the kind of “mommy wars” I feel like we should be focusing in on. Those are the only “wars” I feel need a real voice.

I know I’m going to piss off a lot of my readers here when I say that this whole conversation over “mommy wars” is just bullshit. Fighting over parenting styles is stupid. Everyone should know this.

Corporate agendas will always exist. Whether we’re talking about sexuality or region or politics or parenting. We have to be responsible enough adults to see past it. And if we can’t then there are far more pressing issues. Most people who read into these things and give reason for the instigation are in a place where little can be said to “educate them” on the alternative.

I’m all for “arguing” in the hopes of educating my friends and other opened minded people who are interesting in expanding their know on crunchy like subjects but arguing for arguing’s sake is something I just can not wrap my brain around.

If your parenting style is not mainstream to your audience, you’re gong to find a lot of opinions. Some good. Some bad. Some you don’t agree with. People are going to poke at you. You can poke back. Or you can choose to ignore it and just raise your kids.

Be the change you want to see. You can’t change the rest of the world. If you feel like your parenting style is best, prove it. Start with your children. Mold and shape them to follow your method. Maybe you’ll impact some bystanders. Maybe you wont.

Raising children is hard. Regardless of your method. Concerning yourself with how the world at large feels about your rearing, only adds to that.

And that’s my point really… I’m not focusing on things that should matter. Instead, I’m focusing on this stupid post that I’m even debating on publishing because it only stand to feed the very thing I’m speaking up out against. I hate that we are continuing to even talk about this. I really wish it would just disappear.

My heart is hurting for the people who might question the things they say or do online because of how someone else will take it, on any side of the parenting style spectrum.Yes, this has been happening since the dawn of the internet but somewhere along the line, I fell out of touch with people who make me feel good about the choices I make. People who raise me up and encourage me to be a better parent (or person in general). People who make me laugh and who don’t take shit too seriously.

I’ve been oversensitive and overemotional and I’ve been allowing it all to bring me down and I know when I’ve had too much. I know when I’ve absorbed more than I can handle and that time is now.

Who would have thought in the light of parenting hardships, that my support system would become the thing I would need a break from.

I will find my voice again but until then, I’m going to take a small step back to connect with the people who make me feel happy. My friends. My family. And my children.

A little about me:
My name is Amanda and I am a working mom to 3 incredible girls. I’m married to awesome musician slash super dad, Joey going on 8 years now.

Texan by default.

After a brief struggle with infertility, we finally hit the jackpot in October of 2011.

By day I work for a toy company helping them gaining rankings online, manage their social media, and design pretty things for them when the need arises. By night, I’m mom and wife to the most amazing people.

When I can I craft, design, blog, take photos, and scrapbook. When I can.

Having two has really been one hellofa learning curve. Some days I think I have it down and others are like Lord of the Flies.

I’m a slightly crunchy, wanna be hippie with a total necrotic personality.

I’m always looking to expand my circle of like minded people and love meeting twin/multiple moms so please feel free to say hello and introduce yourself.

You can read all about their journey here.

The grunt of Project Life exists in two parts: Journaling & Photos. After that, it’s all about assembling which for me, is the fun part. Luckily I’ve found a method to my madness through trial and error and today I’d like to share with you guys just how I manage. Ready? Aw yeah…

For the Journaling:
I’m a total tech-geek. iphones and ipads and apps, OH MY! But my most favorite tool… is my weekly planner. Yup! Pen and paper, ladies and germs!

Every Monday(ish) I go through my week and the week to come and add the obvious stuff (birthdays, milestones, holidays, etc). Then I bust out the geekery. Armed with my iphone and my planner, I go to town.

I don’t want to spend so much time taking meticulous notes that I don’t actually enjoy the living part of Project Life so I let apps do as much of the hard work as I can get away with.

Since I overshare use twitter a lot, it makes sense that a lot of my life can be reread through my stream. That’s where Momento really shines as my favorite go-to app, here.

This app is beyond fantastic. You can add entries in by hand (which I seldom do) or you can link most all your social feeds and let it do all the work for you.

I use it mostly to jar up and keep track of my memories for my album.

I’ve linked mine up to my facebook, twitter, and instagram. Sidenote 1: If you feed your instagrams through twitter than you can skip linking instagram but I don’t always post all my instragrams to twitter.

You can search through your feed via dates, tags, or just look at your photos specifically. The search bar is insane! I just used it to search for “Lola” and found the exact date that we decided to name one of our babies, Lola. Pretty crazy stuff! Now the app itself will go back a year to gather all your info, so if you’re trying to play catch up yourself, this app could REALLY help. I couldn’t love this app more.

I sift through the app, looking at my tweets and photos. When I find something that seems significant, I mark it in my planner. Typically my notes have a title, quotations that will be typed up in my old school type writer (I’ll usually list them out on that same Monday so I can just type them all out at once), and if my journaling includes images (as they so often do) I’ll put [pics] along with a description of the images I plan on using. That brings me to what I do for the images portion of my album.

For the Images:
Once my notes are made, it’s time to coordinate them with photos.

I love Photo Album+. I use this app a lot like I use Momento, to jar up any stray bullet points my Momento app may have missed since I don’t always tweet or instagram my photos (gasp! I know). You simply sync your photos and it automatically sorts them in a calendar like fashion that allows me to properly date my photos.

Instagram has become my best friend for my life in print. You can either have your final images saved to your camera roll or you can use MyInstaAlbum (another one of my most used apps) to sort and save selected photos.

Images selected, it’s time to print.

Your standard images are easy to print. I just run those to target. For all my other images, I use this process. Using framtastic I select the 4 square option, add my instagrams, and adjust my border to none. Save to my iphone at Ultra-Res and then have them printed using PostalPix. The 4″x4″ sized prints produces a perfect set of 4 2″x2″s. Sidenote: I usual do an instagram dump of all my photos on Sunday night so that I don’t have to start from scratch, readjusting my images. Simply save, go back and just replace your board with 4 new images. Save and repeat until you have all your instagrams saved, 4 to a sheet. You can also use the postcard feature to split up a 4″x6″ into 2 perfectly sized journaling cards.

And there ya have it! Sorry for the lengthy post. I’ve been doing it this way for months now and have found that this method works best for my super busy lifestyle. If you try this and it works, SUPER! If it doesn’t or if you have a more tried and true method then by all means… hook a sister up! I’m always looking for ways to make this easier.

I’m hoping to start posting some of my pages soon but for now, I’m just happy I’m getting them done. I’ll post a terrible shot of one in process just to give you an idea of how I’m putting the above to work at the bottom of this post. More to come. I promise!

Happy Lifeing!

Click for larger images.

I remember capturing my thoughts when we first found out we were having twins because I thought for sure, the thrill and disbelief would have faded by now but you know… it hasn’t. I still go to sleep and look over at my two little humans and think to myself, “am I really seeing this”.

I see two of everything and am just overwhelmed at my good fortune. The girls are everything I could have ever ask for and then some.

After helping me put the babes to bed, Joey went out Saturday night to reliving his glory days (aka his cock rock- hair metal days) with some of his old band mates. He came home telling me how lucky he was that his wife was so cool and how beautiful everyone thought the girls were. Then we proceeded to look at pictures of the girls, talking about how awesome each baby was in their own way. Pictures we’ve seen a million times. Then we sighed and hugged it out. They complete us.

They’re beautiful and so full of personality that it literally makes my whole face hurt from the smiling. And they’re only 6 months!

So here they are… The girls have gone from 5 months

to 6 months. Pretty easy to see what all the fuss is about, yes? They’re pretty much like that all day long. We only have a few fussy moments but it’s always for a reason. The very rarely, if ever, cry just to cry.

I think this picture sums up Lola, fairly well. She gorgeous from head to foot.

She’s my loverhead. My cuddler. My emotional baby. She’s become more even tempered as of late.

We joke that she’s the thinker of the group. She studies things before putting them in her mouth. Almost as if to memorize the object by heart.

Her favorite toy is the unchilled teething keys I bought for Charlee.

She’s somehow become the noisy baby. Babbling and spitting, she definitely enjoys the sound of her own voice.

She loves holding a blanket while nursing and can usually be calmed easily with a little cuddling.

As her personality continues to evolve and flourish, I fall more and more desperately in love with her. She really is an incredible little person.

That there is Charlee. This kid absolutely slays me.

She has 2 levels: asleep and ten. No middle. She is the kid with more personality than all of of us combined.

The face maker. The laugher. The tongue shower. She’s the hamest of hams.

She loves crinkly  things (which is why I think she was taken by that there loaf of bread) and her jumperoo. She jumps like you wouldn’t believe in that thing. I often worry she’s gonna break it.

She’s making sounds now that sound a lot like DA-DA or day-day, maybe. She can make her sister laugh unlike anyone in the house which just kills me. She’s a chunk to the 5th degree. And she still refuses to sit still. Even when you pick her up, she starts air jumping. Non stop, this kid. And my whole face, just lights with love.

I’m blessed beyond words, I am. I wish they’d stay babies forever but if it’s one thing my 12 year old has taught me it is to enjoy every single second of it. She is living proof that they grow up too fast.

I take as many photos and videos of them as I can. It always feels like I’m going overboard but I know better. Every time I feel my body ache with love, or I stare into their eyes, or I feel their little fingers on face, I take it in. I feel it and imbed the moment deep into my brain because these moments, don’t last nearly long enough.

Happy six months Monster Babies! Thank you for making our family complete. For expanding my capacity to love. For being cute as hell. For giving me reason to be a better person. Thank you for being amazing little people. I love you with all my heart and more.

I mostly play the husband and friends and typically hilarity is had by all (or perhaps just me).

If you’re wanting to document some of these gems in your project life photo album, I’ve made a fancy new download JUST for you. Check it out!

You can download the file right here. I’ve created it so that you can open it up in photoshop and add your DrawSomething screenshots in behind the first layer and have it show up, nice n clean, in the breaks. If you aren’t able to use photoshop for whatever reason, you can also just print the card as it is, print  your screenshot, and just use the old cut it up and glue it down method.

How do you get screencaps on your iphone? It’s super simple, I promise. You just hold you home button (that little round one on the bottom) and your power button (the little slit looking button on the top right) at the same time. Look for your new capture in your photo album. See it? Preseto, screen capped!

I’ve also created it on a 4×6 canvas so you easily create 2 separate 4×3 journaling cards on one print. I’ve been using this technique for a while now when it comes to printing and have found it be the easiest and cheapest solution.

And there ya have it! For all your wonderful works of art.

I’m darlingmonsters on DrawSomething if you wanna find me and draw scary shit with me.

They’re going to keep growing. Despite all my kicking and screaming… Sigh. Let’s take a look at the past month.The girls went from 4 months

to 5 months pretty much overnight. Aren’t they adorable?! I think so. Their personalities have really started to blossom into something beyond the eating, pooping, and not-really-sleeping stuff. They grow more lovable (as if that’s even possible) with each passing day. They smile and laugh a lot and it’s just fantastic. Makes leaving them every morning harder and harder. Anyway… here are my babies.

• Lola seems to have become a much happier baby. I’m not sure if she just shed the whole “cranky baby” stuff but I’ll never shake a stick the whole “colic” thing again. She’s not nearly as temperamental as she used to be. She’ll actually play on her own on the floor now whereas before, she would never allow you to put her down.

• She is all about the gurgling and spitting. I really think she likes the sound of her own voice. She like to make gargle noises and then blow raspberries on herself. The half cough, half squealing noises are to die for.

• I gave her a piece of bread to see what she would do with it and she didn’t seem  impressed. She not at all interested in food yet. And that’s ok. I figured it was too soon anyway.

Isn’t she just the sweetest!

• Charlee has picked up her temperament where Lola left off. Thanks to the joys of teeth, Charlee has become the cranky baby. It’s not nearly as bad as Lola used to be but Charlee’s pain is a whole different kinds of pain. A little agitation and boat loads of drool. You can even see where her little teeth are coming in. We’re sidelines with pompoms, rooting those mean little bastards out. We miss our happy little Charlee.

• She’s getting ready to crawl, I just know it! She’s all about the cobra pose. She tries so hard to get on all fours and has already started doing the reverse scoot. You can’t put her in one place and expect her to stay there for long. She’s a mover and a shaker, this kid.

• I gave her a piece of bread as well and just managed to get it on her thumb and suck at it. I still don’t think she’s ready so we aren’t pushing it but I think she’ll be the first.

See that smile? It happens a lot in our house. It’s 100% contagious, so watch out.

And there ya have it. Nothing major, milestone-wise but they’re growing. They get cuter and become more alive with personality by the day.

I’ve recently switched from strictly breastmilk feeding my girls to supplement-feedings with formula. That’s right… I am now longer exclusively breastfeeding my children.

I read and reread and rereread that last paragraph and still feel the pain of this choice. It wasn’t an easy one but I think I’m finally in a place where I accept the choice I made. But it hasn’t been an easy road.

Breastfeeding was something that I held very dear to my heart and I had very high hopes that I would be able to offer the girls the same benefits. Mini monster never had a single ounce of formula and went straight from boobs to cups. I was very anti formula. Not because I thought it was bad for babies but because I didn’t understand it and it wasn’t from my body. It was a foreign substance that intimidated me.

I was very fortunate that I was able to stay home with Mini for the first two years. This time around I am the soul breadwinner. That hadn’t always been been the plan but it was and still is our current situation.

The first time I offered Lola a bottle of breastmilk, I cried. I was trying to prepare all of us for my inevitable return to work and I was raging full of hormones. It was not pretty. For none of us. When the breastmilk I had been insanely pumping for started depleting I began to pump more often. I started taking vitamins and drinking teas. I fought tooth and nail. I desperately wanted to hang on to my label of being a breastmilk-only kind of mother. And I did this for many months.

I struggled and I struggled alone when the decision came to start adding formula. I didn’t know what brands to go with. What bottles? How much they should be eating? I felt like a new mom all over again, treading all new, unfamiliar land and I hated it. I felt naked, naive, and all unknowing. I felt like a horrible mother. And I cried. A lot.

When they were constipated, I blamed formula. When they were colicky, I blamed formula. When they were happy and content… it was because they mostly ate breastmilk. I was never more aware of the overall benefits of breastfeeding. And not always being able to provide that for them killed me.

I desperately wanted to talk to my twitter group but was too ashamed. I wanted to talk to my mother in law but she only formula feed her kids and my mom didn’t think breastfeeding a baby past the first 6 weeks was even right so… I was alone. Maybe I was being silly. Maybe I was over thinking it. Maybe I’m being too hard on myself.

Breastfeeding is a luxury, in my humble opinion. Some might not see it that way but I do. The sense of pride I feel knowing that my body grew my babies is something I greatly miss.

I still pump like crazy. I still offer my girls mostly breastmilk. I still breastfeed them in the evenings, weekends, and most of the night because I still want to offer my babies that luxury.

I don’t know what I’m going to do when they start outgrowing my supply. I’ve been very lucky in that my pumping and their intake has been enough to keep my supply alive and well. I keep my hopes high that The Guy will find a job that will allow me to kick the cans and go back to just breast but in the meantime, I’m done!

I’m done feeling guilty over this decision and I’m done being ashamed. This is my redemption. This is my letting it go. This is me making room to spend less time feeling anger and more time feeling love because in the end, that’s all this is supposed to be about.

Love.

I can’t help but put on my bitchface when I hear how “lucky” I was, when luck really had nothing to do with. A lot of work went into cooking my babies. Why should dumb luck get all the credit?!

I have a few friends who are expecting twins and I thought what better time to break down my efforts and share with you what I learned along the way. So… lets share!
I’d like to start with the why of it all: One of the first things I worried about the most when I found out I was pregnant with twins was incubation caused by preterm labor. I hated the idea that my babies might be separated from me at birth for any reason so the first thing I researched was my odds of carrying my twins to term.

It didn’t look good. In 2005, the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology published a study. In this study, over 1,600 women were followed between 1979 and 2002 across the U.S. Women in this study delivered their twins at the following rates:
28-30 weeks: 5.3%
31-32 weeks: 8.5%
33-36 weeks: 40.1%

Wow. Seriously!? It was good fortune that I wasn’t following the standard practice of prenatal care. *Steps up on soapbox*

I hear many tales of the world of OBGYN and twin prenatal care and I don’t like what I hear. So much is tossed around that instills fear in a woman: High risk. Preterm. Instant cesarean…

Ladies, don’t let these terms fool you. If you want to deliver your babies happy and healthy naturally, it IS very possible. If you have a doctor telling you otherwise, find a new doctor. Get a midwife. Explore your options. Don’t settle for one doctor’s opinion of what your body can and can not do. Health complications aside, there is no reason why you can’t have an “uneventfully, routine pregnancy” that goes full term and deliver your twins vaginally. Ya, I said it, FAginally. Don’t be scared. You’re body only needs to dilate once. While you’re at it, you might as well get an extra baby out it. Consider it a two for one, deal.

Seriously ladies… own your bodies! Watch the Business of Being Born. Take a stand and reclaim your birth rights. *Steps off soapbox* Moving on to how to carry your babies to term.

So I researched my odds and they didn’t look great. I took a step back and decided, like the true stubborn S.O.B that I am, “FUCK THAT!”

Prevention was going to be my best friend so I researched some more. Putting those findings to work under the care of a wonderful midwife, fast forward to 39 weeks, I can honestly say I did it! Here’s how:

1. Diet: I was told to pack on the pounds. To not be weary of calories. I was told about a pound to a pound and a half gain a week was a good goal to aim for. And the best way to gain this weight? Enter the Brewers Diet. I swear by this diet. It helps to prevent blood pressure issues, wards against preclamsia, AND helped me pack on the (over 80) pounds!

The diet has you eating about 140-150 grams of protein and upping your salt intake. The salt is really important in how your body absorb vitamins and nutrients and helps ward against toxemia and placenta abruption. Salt also helps keep your body from swelling. Sea salt is much better for you than regular salt as it contains a lot more natural minerals that your body could use.

Now the diet itself is a LOT of food. I swore by the “protein shakes” I made myself 2 times a day. In a bullet blender I would mix 2 cups of milk, 2 scoops of powered milk, chocolate syrup (for added protein) and 2 table spoons of coconut oil. The way I made it totaled out to about 40 grams of protein. I called those my super shakes.

Yes, you could use protein shakes but the proteins in powered milk absorb much better than synthetic protein. Something to keep in mind.

I would eat boiled eggs (with salt), string cheese, and greek yogurt (it has more protein than reg yogurts) as my snacks. I bitched and moaned a LOT about how much food I had to eat but I did say that if it grew healthy happy babies, it would be worth it. It was worth it.

2. Vitamins: Along with my prenatal vitamins, my midwife had me on calcium/magnesium supplements. I was taking double the recommended dosage, 3 times a day. That was to keep the contractions at bay. It also really helped me get rest. I still take calcium at night now instead of the groggy alternatives. I also took Butcher’s Broom to help with my swelling. My fellow twin-mum friend, Kristin also suggests vitamin C. “Vitamin C is what builds membranes and getting enough is what will keep your water bags from breaking prematurely.”

3. Hydration: Water. Water. WATER! Dehydration is one of the three leading causes of preterm labor. I was always sipping on a water bottle. You can throw some fruit in an ice tray and freeze them for added flavor.

I researched like crazy, ate like a Viking before battle, took good care of my body, and had a good team on side, encouraging me the whole way. Luck… phhttt. Not a chance. I grew my babies with health and food. Not a single ounce of luck was necessary.

It’s possible. A lot of work but very much possible. And if I can do it, I know it can be done! Best of luck brewing your brood!

A little cover-my-ass: I am NOT a doctor. So please be sure to contact your primary caregiver for more information. This is just what worked for me.

So here we are… the Ottobot Twins! An update.We went from 3 months to

4 months in what seemed like no time at all. Cruel, cruel time. I can say that we’re just now starting to feel like we’ve got a hold on this whole  twin-parent thing. It’s either that or we’ve grown accustomed to the chaos that is having more than one baby in your life.

As far as the girls are concerned, here’s a look at how each of them are coming along.

My little Lola…

• She’s 14 lbs/7 oz.

• She’s slowly starting to shed the whole BLODDYHELL where’s the vodka colic thing. It used to be every single night, without fail. Now it seems to only be every other 3 nights or so. When it’s bad, it’s bad but it’s getting better.

• She’s rolled once or twice but I think it was a placement fluke because she hasn’t rolled since. Either that or she’s sees her sister doing it, getting mad about it and has decided, nope! it’s not for her. I’m ok with that.

• She looks more and more like her dad everyday. It’s uncanny. Even more so by comparison to his baby pictures. It’s a good thing I think he’s super gorgeous.

• She’s still not a fan of the packi.

  Charleebear…

•  My little “runt” is still trucking ahead of her sister weighing in at 15 lbs/6 oz.

• She’s getting ready to cut teeth and that makes her not so happy. Even still you can draw out a smile when you try.

• She’s all about the rolling. You can’t keep this kid still. She get’s mad when you try to keep her on her beck. Especially in the morning. She’ll roll over, get in your face and drool like crazy while babbling. It would be unnerving if this kid wasn’t so damn cute!

• Seriously, this kid is a wiggle-worm. Even while eating she’ll rub her little feet together until she’s pealed off her socks. Then she’ll put her feet on up and kick off you. All while smiling. Like a boss, this one.

These girls are absolutely incredible. I just love having them in my life. They’ve taught me so much about myself. Mostly about how endurable I am even with only getting 4-5 hours of sleep in 2 hour chunks.

Coffee is my best friend.